I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
Found your dick twin last night
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
