i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
Randomize
