he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
Randomize
