my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Randomize
