You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
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