we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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