the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Randomize
