Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
I have fence marks all over my body
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
Randomize
