You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
Randomize
