I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Randomize
