i just wanna soil my oats bro
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
he had hair everywhere except his balls
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
