i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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