i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
You were trust falling into bushes
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
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