Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
she woke up with a sticky ear
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
Randomize
