Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
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