So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
I am mentally ready for anal.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
there is puke in my bra ... again
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