i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
The struggles of a small town man whore
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
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