I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
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