brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
Randomize
