im gay
i know
yea but for you.
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
I could have mohawked her pubes.
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Randomize
