I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
