why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Randomize
