U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Randomize
