i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize