This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
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