you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
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