The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
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