does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
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