don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
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