Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
