Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize
