I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
Randomize
