We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
Randomize
