I don't think brook has ever known best
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
You pole danced in your parka.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
Randomize
