He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
Randomize
