Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
Randomize
