Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
Randomize
