maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
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