Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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