What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
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