Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
Randomize
