the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
Randomize
