I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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