What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
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