It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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