i really wish james franco would like my vagina
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize
