is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Randomize
