Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
Randomize
