problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
