I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
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